Illustration for article titled Who is this Vindman guy? - D. Trump

Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman, we are reliably informed, is the National Security Council’s top Ukraine expert. Vindman has a deep knowledge of the region, is a decorated active service member, and believes it is his sworn duty to defend this country.

Of course, Donald Trump doesn’t know who Vindman is, according to Politico. As it turns out, an associate of Republican Representative Devin Nunes, whom you may recall sued Twitter over a “mean cow” account (I swear to God I am not making this up), managed to get himself embedded as a Ukraine expert in the Trump Administration.


Kashyap Patel joined the White House in February with no identifiable Ukrainian experience or expertise, and somehow convinced Trump that he was the NSC’s top Ukraine expert. I can only assume this wasn’t difficult, and probably involved printing up fake business cards which included the words “Ukraine Expert.

But wait. While this farce already eclipses Wile E. Coyote’s best scams, it actually gets even more ridiculous. Vindman testified that he was shut out of an important debriefing because Trump’s advisers worried that bringing in Vindman would “confuse” Trump. Oh, and Patel was apparently funneling inaccurate information to Trump, feeding Trump’s belief that Ukraine is a hotbed of corruption and lawlessness.

So. Trump is basically your elderly grandmother and his advisers worried he would be befuddled by the unknown face, just like the staff at Grandma’s memory care facility. And, just like Grandma, con men and grifters are manipulating Trump to get him to make stupid decisions. Except with Grandma, it’s a cable subscription to the extended sports package. With Trump, it’s wild conspiracy theories involving Joe Biden, email servers, and Ukrainian interference in the 2016 election. All part of making America great again.

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