Illustration for article titled The king of quid pro quo strikes again

According to a report in Politico, Donald Trump has resorted to bribing senators to squelch his impeachment. Which is ... totally on-brand, actually. I’m surprised he didn’t start sooner.

Trump is tapping his donor network for cash to award to senators with precarious reelection prospects, in order to gain their support against impeachment. Astute readers may recognize this tactic as a quid pro quo, but I’m sure Trump would call it “perfect.”

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On Wednesday the Trump reelection campaign emailed their donors begging for cash. The loot will be divided between the president and Colorado Sen. Cory Gardner, Iowa Sen. Joni Ernst, and North Carolina Sen. Thom Tillis. All of these senators supported the ridiculous anti-impeachment resolution and all are in danger of losing their seats. Just a head’s up, senators. I’d be willing to bet a significant sum that most of the proceeds generated will go to Trump and not you.

The email criticized the current “baseless Impeachment WITCH HUNT” (yes, apparently all Trump supporters must now duplicate Trump’s bizarre capitalization and grammar tics). GOP party officials said more “fundraising” efforts (bribery is such a gauche term) would follow, allowing more GOP senators to line up at the trough. So if you didn’t get your cut (looking at you. Susan Collins), just wait your turn.

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