So, how crazy is Donald Trump? Fortunately, thanks to Talking Points Memo, we can count the ways.

1. Adam Schiff is the Whistleblower’s informant. I’ve already written about how Trump has elevated the Whistleblower into superhero status, a shadowy figure of justice (or in Trump’s mind, persecution). Now Trump has conflated his two archenemies, Rep. Adam Schiff and the Whistleblower. How long until Trump attempts to remove Schiff’s mask on national television, like the denouement of a Scooby-Doo adventure?

2. Trump wants us out of wars, except maybe he’s going to start wars, and if he does, boy, you better look out. What in the actual fuck?

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3. “Phony” emoluments clause. The Village-Idiot-in-Chief actually claimed the emoluments clause is “phony.” Seriously. No, fuckwit, if you could read, you’d see that it’s in the Constitution.

4. Mitt Romney is the enemy. Okay, I’ll give him this one. No, wait, he says Mitt is his enemy. So if the enemy of my enemy is my friend, then Mitt and I are friends? Damn you Trump for putting me on the same side of the fence as Mitt Romney!

5. Applause-o-meter. So executive decisions are being made by the amount of applause generated by mouth-breathing MAGA morons that attend Trump’s white supremacy rallies. And the two biggest applause generators are “build the wall” and “bring home the troops.” But wait, Trump, you said you might start more wars? Won’t that reduce the applause. Just kidding. We know the Trump Troopers will clap anyway.

6. Never-Trumpers are dying. Citation needed.

Holy shit. I’d say we’re days away from Trump huddling into a Führerbunker and declaring himself President-for-life.

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